I just cut my nipple shaving
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
