Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
