Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
