i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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