in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
