So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
