Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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