I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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