trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
