Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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