I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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