Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
