I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
