My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
