The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
