white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
