If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
