he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
