So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
just found out that she named her cat after me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
