the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
