life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
