Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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