i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
two words...techno handjob
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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