That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
