drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
