The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
