Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
