I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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