so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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