Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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