I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
