Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
