DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
