I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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