Your tits are I can't wait for
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
