Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
