Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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