Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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