I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
