But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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