I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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