There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Please don't give away my fajitas
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
