i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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