The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
