sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
