so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
