but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
