she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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