a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
