I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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